London, Astoria
Ok, so we’re off on tour with Social D. and the Backyard Babies. Who could have imagined that? The first show is in London at the legendary Astoria Theatre. We have to be there at 4 P.M, so yet again we have to get up at around 6 A.M. But I’m very glad we’re on our way, because yesterday we weren’t so sure anymore. Bertus went to pick up the trailer we rented for this tour far away in the province of Zeeland. On his way back his car (the ever so comfortable Renault Espace) showed the little light again as he did on our way to the airport when we went to Ireland. This time he did stop. To make a long story short; Bertus got a replacement car while his own is being repaired. The car is a Volkswagen Golf Plus. Until now nobody seems to have any idea what this plus is all about, while we’re all pretty crammed up. We, in this particular case, is: Bertus, Danny (bass), Geert (F.O.H.), Rutger (monitors) and myself (René). But the car gets us to London and that’s what counts.
We go by Eurotunnel for the first time and I will never go by boat ever again. One; it’s cheaper, two; it’s faster and (most important) three; I don’t get sick. It’s brilliant.
But before we got on the train we had to go through customs. We all gave the guy our passports or I.d.’s and he checks them thoroughly. Which is understandable, with the recent bombings in London in mind. And then this guy says: ‘Danny, do you have any other I.D. card or do you just have this EXPIRED one?’
The car is dead silent and all I can think of is: ‘What the White Stripes can do, we can do better, right?’ But the nice gentleman is in a great mood (it’s true, the sun IS shining) and let’s us through, saving our first show. We will keep reminding Danny for the rest of the tour, though.
Rutger gets us to Astoria without any further problems, which means that this is the first time I get to see a bit of the city while going there. All the other times we were all with our heads in a map having no fucking clue where to go. At the club we meet Kelly, he has a day off as driver for Davendra Barnhart . He’s also from The Hague and one of Rutgers best friends and decides to help us a little So now we have the biggest crew we ever had; three people. Inside we meet the Kung Fu girls Didi and Lenneke.
I’m a little nervous, because this is by far the biggest tour we’ve been on and I have no idea how we are going to be treated. I mean, we’re this tiny little Dutch band, what do they care? But we meet both stage crews and everyone seems equally nice and cooperative, so that’s a bit of a relieve. After we unloaded I wander around backstage and I bump into Russell (long time friend and Kung Fu representative in the U.K.) and Mike Ness. I introduce myself and thank him for having us on the tour, telling him what an honour it is. He’s is actually the one who says yes or no, so he’s is the one to thank. He’s really laid back and nice and he’s sorry that it’s such an early show for us. He’s right. We have to play at 6 P.M. We get a proper sound check and then all of a sudden it’s show time. On stage we meet Kurt. Kurt is Social Distortions guitar tech and stage manager. He introduces himself saying: ‘ Hi, I’m Kurt. Thank you for being our support act. I know it’s not going to be easy all the time. I will make sure you’ll have you water and your towels on stage. Have a good show.’ We’re gob smacked. ‘He is actually thanking US! Ok, now I know this is going to be FUN!! We get on stage and there’s a lot more people than I expected. The show is pretty good. Danny is doing great! The fact that he’s doing bass for the second time ever doesn’t make me nervous at all. And this is about the biggest compliment I can give him. When we’re finished getting the backline back in the trailer we go watch the Backyard Babies. They rock the place. And then it’s time for Social Distortion. There show is great and I get a lump in my throat during ‘Don’t Take Me For Granted’. After the show we go to get some pizza. We’re knackered and at the end of the night we all end up in or around the infamous Columbia Hotel near Hyde Park.
On the car stereo: System Of A Down, Alkaline Trio
Off
When we wake up it’s a beautiful day.
Bertus, Geert, Danny and I get some coffee and breakfast at Starbucks.
When everybody is awake and dressed we get on our way home.
On the train through the tunnel I promise
myself again never to go by boat again.
We get home without any problems. Tomorrow
it’s Amsterdam.
On the car stereo: Alkaline Trio, Rock steady compilation
Amsterdam, Melkweg
At the venue I meet Social D’s bass player Brent Harding and his wife Erika. They are extremely nice. Today Eddy joined the tour, so Danny’s doing F.O.H. and Eddy’s back on bass again. Everything goes nice and smooth today, but it’s hardly the first time we play here. Kurt appears to be a physical therapist who has quite some smart things to say about my hernia. Our show is alright. It looks like there are quite some people who think that THEIR band should have done this show. They don’t, so they boo. Brent is shocked; getting booed at the only Dutch show? ‘Why aren’t they proud?’
Luckily, there’re a lot of friends too, so it turns out a very nice night.
On the car stereo: Radio 1
The Hague, Off
Spent at home, so not much to tell.
Hamburg, Docks
Thank God Bertus’ car is ready, so we can all travel comfortably.
The journey to Hamburg takes a little longer then expected due to traffic. But we’re there in time for sound check. We will have the same P.A. company and catering company at all the German shows. Not only is this very convenient, the P.A. company turns out to be very professional and the catering turns out to be downright sublime!
We also meet all the people from Scorpio, the German Agency who arranged it all. It turns out that the production manager is Petra, who I know from way back when I was touring with Junkie XL.
Not so nice is the fact that the curfew is set back one hour, which means that our show time is half an hour earlier. Consequently the hall is half empty when we hit the stage. That doesn’t keep us from rocking and a modest applause is our reward. A bigger reward is the fact that Brent and Erika tell us that they really enjoyed the show.
After the show it’s dinner time. And after that Social D.
Tomorrow we’re playing the same venue again, so we can leave everything there. Easy!
On the car stereo: Rock steady compilation, Alan Lomax’ American Songbook, High Speed Scene
Hamburg, Docks
We spent the day in the city of Hamburg. I’ve been here before, but never went downtown. It turns out to be an extremely boring city. During our sound check John (S.D.’s light engineer) and Charlie (S.D.’s drummer) do a slam dance. Charlie asks for a cd, because he liked all the songs we sound checked. Our show is somewhat the same as yesterday’s, because today we have to start early as well. During dinner Eddy tells us a great story. When he bumped into Pascal, Backyard Babies’ roadie, he tells him that he made a ‘great career move’. When he was setting up BB’s gear a box with merchandise fell on the the bass amp breaking off one of the heads’ knobs. It’s right before sound check, so Pascal has to act quickly. He gets the brilliant idea to put the knob back on with super glue. Everything seems saved, but Johan (BB’s bass player) still finds out when during sound check he discovers that one of the knobs on his amp is totally stuck.
After dinner it’s S.D. Erika will fly to England tomorrow, so it’s her last show. After the show off to the hotel. Tomorrow is a day off/travel day to Berlin.
Off
The way up to Berlin is easy, yet boring. But driving through Berlin on our way to our booking agent’s office was great. It’s a beautiful day and Berlin is a beautiful city. Eventually we do find Mutti’s office. It’s also the place were we will sleep. But first Kai takes us to the best Italian restaurant we’ve ever been. It’s a punk rock restaurant where you can find punk rock autographs and where Pennywise once played. The food was absolutely fantastic. After dinner we meet Mutti and his wife in a bar. I didn’t stay that long because I was really tired.
On the car stereo: A compilation of fifty’s girl groups, Alan Lomax’ American Songbook
Berlin, Columbiahalle
Before we go to the venue, Didi and I do some sightseeing. We go see the Gedänkniskirche and do some shopping. Nice.
The Columbiahalle is huge. The capacity is 3500 people and, like all the shows, it’s sold out. Outside the venue a hot rod club has his own spot. There are some really cool cars and Mike drives one of them around. We all make some pictures. I decide not to buy a hot rod, because I don’t know anything about cars.
We finally play at the right time, so the place is pretty filled up when we play and the people seem to actually like us. Johnny gives me a huge compliment by saying that we sound totally unique, thank you so much, Johnny! I found out today that Hells Kitchen Catering has all AC/DC’s autographs on their flight case. Respect! Backyard Babies rock yet again. These guys give it all every day. Great people too. Social D’s show is great again especially because the place is so huge. After the show there’s an after party at a smaller place right next to the main hall. It’s obviously organised by the Hot Rod people. There’s a Fifty’s band playing and they play video’s of Hot Rods in Germany and the US. We’re having fun, but we don’t stay long. We sleep at Mutti’s again.
Hamburg, Grosse Freiheit
Our dressing room is the bar underneath the Grosse Freiheit which happens to be one of the places where a certain band from Liverpool used to play during their time in Hamburg. A band which happens to be one of our all time favourite bands, collectively. Yep, I’m talking about the great Beatles. We’re all excited and taking pictures. There’s also a pool table and table football game. All this makes our dressing room quite a popular hang out for the whole tour party. Eddy, Brent and I play some pool. Graig, Danny, Bertus and I play some table football. It’s great fun and we’re all pretty relaxed. And Brent tells us that he used to be a cue maker before he went on tour with Social Distortion.
Our show is actually pretty good. During Social Distortions show I walk around the venue and a huge skinhead with a hideous tattoo of Jack Nicholson in The Shining walks up to me, takes out my earplug and says: ‘I think your band is awful!!, I don’t understand why you are playing with Social Distortion!’ I find this hilarious, so I burst out laughing and I want to shake his hand and walk on. The huge guy, however is not amused and looks like he’s going to kill me. I try to save myself by saying: ‘But Mike Ness invited us.’ He looks puzzled for a moment and then says: ‘I don’t understand, you are shit!’. Then he walks away. Jesus!, this guy really had to make his point. I walk back to the backstage area and watch the rest of the show from the side of the stage. A minute after I came back I here Mike say something like ‘what about that great band Cooper from Amsterdam?’ ‘Eat that, fuckface Nicholson’, I think smiling.
Cologne, Palladium
This is the biggest show of the tour. And it’s the biggest show Social D has ever done on it’s own. The Palladium is sold out and it’s capacity is 4000. Mike walks up to me and tells me he heard about my close encounter with the rude skinhead. ‘What do they want, another Social Distortion as support act?’, he says. I felt really good about this support. Mike rules. After sound check Brent and I discuss some great American poets like Kiss. ‘Plaster caster, grab a hold of me faster.’ recites Brent. My favourite is ‘I’m a hooligan, I won’t go to school again.’ Then it’s show time. We start to get use to huge crowds and our guitars go way up in the air on a regular basis. The crowds reception is more than acceptable, it’s actually really good. Like always we eat after the show. But the catering is on the balcony this time and so Backyard Babies is our dinner band. We leave halfway Social D’s set, because we will drive back to The Hague tonight. It’s nice to sleep in my own bed again.
The Hague, Off
Woke up, went to the gym. Picked up Eva (my daughter) from school and went to bed early.
Bielefeld, Ringlokschuppen
We leave The Hague around midday. In Bielefeld the sun is shining, so when we arrive everyone is happy. The Ringlokschuppen is a beautiful venue. It used to be a train maintenance place but they totally rebuilt it with original bits and pieces in it’s place. This whole production is total routine by now. We always arrive at 4. By that time Social D is halfway through their sound check and the Babies have already set up their gear in front of the stage. S.D. finishes sound check, Babies go on stage and are finished within half an hour. Then we go on and are also ready within half an hour. No one has to rush, everybody knows what to do and everybody helps each other out if necessary.
Today, Geert is our sound engineer, because Danny has to go on trial. Yep, on trial. It’s a long story, but in a nutshell; Danny hit a police officer senseless, because the cop let his dog attack one of Danny’s friends. He is indeed the only real punk rocker in the Cooper posse. On our way to Bielefeld he called and told us that he didn’t have to go to jail, but got a fine and two years probation. We told this to the Social D people and they were shocked. Like Charlie put it: ‘If you do that in L.A., they beat the living shit out of you, then set you on fire and then they say: ‘He had a gun!’’. We, on the other hand, were shocked too. We think Danny got sentenced way too heavily. A nice case of cultural differences. All the bands hang out outside because of the nice weather. We do some interviews, talk to some people. Danny (S.D.’s keyboard player) tells hilarious stories about playing with Tom Waits. Really nice. Then it’s show time again. Eddy rocks, because it’s his last show and Johnny Two Bags stands in front of the stage smiling and giving him a thumbs up. Great guy! The Babies tear the place apart as usual and Social D’s show is fantastic, as usual. After the show I end up in S.D.’s dressing room drinking smoothies with Mike, Johnny and Charlie. Then we leave because we’re going home again. Because Social D. is doing festivals this weekend we have four days off.
I have the annual boat trip with my two brothers and our kids, so talk to you in a couple of days.
Wiesbaden, Schlachthof
Ok, we’re back on the road. This time Danny is our bass player and Geert is doing sound. The journey to Wiesbaden is without any trouble. The Schlachthof is a former slaughterhouse (hence the name), now used as a concert hall, a cafe and a restaurant.
It’s good to see both bands and all the people on the tour again. Sound checks are going smooth as usual. I don’t think about Danny taking over on bass. I’m fully confident. Clint, Social D’s merchandise guy tells me a great story. When he checked in to his hotel he asked ffor a gym, they have one downstairs. Later on he’s in his room when someone knocks the door. It’s the manager and he asks: ‘Excuse me, but did you take one of the machines from the gym?’ Obviously Clint was gob smacked and said ‘No, of course not!’ ‘Well, you are the only one who asked about the gym and maybe you took it by accident.’, said the manager, trying to look into the room over Clint’s shoulder. Maybe I should add that Clint is black. At half past eight it’s our show time. We’re all standing on the stage and on the moment I say ‘Ok, let’s go!’ everything goes out. The power went off and it takes more then an hour to solve the problem. Good thing is that by the time we hit the stage the hall is packed. The show is good. Danny is great. Some people disagree and act like it. There’s a guy with a ponytail yelling silly things between the songs. After a while he finally leaves with his friends for a drink. When I look in the backstage direction I see Mike watching our show. Well, HE doesn’t yell or leave, so I’m fine. At the end of our set the guy comes back to go on yelling how much we suck. I see some people getting annoyed. After I said ‘thank you, good night’ he keeps on yelling until some pretty big skinheads decide it’s enough and walk up to him to shut him up. Some people have to get in between them to prevent the situation from running out of hand. I’m having a great time, thanks to the skinheads.
It’s good to see Backyard Babies and Social D again after a couple of days.
Tonight we stay at the venue. We sleep in the production office. But before that we go to the cafe and meet Manu a girl who can belch so loud, you won’t believe. She belches in Danny’s ear for a while. Charming. Off to bed
On the car stereo: Hot Hot Heat, High Speed Scene, Alan Lomax
Stuttgart, Messe Congresscentrum
Good thing about the Messe is that you see signs for it as soon as you get near Stuttgart, so we find the place without any problem.
The place is a huge complex, usually used for business fares and things. Inside it looks like a giant basketball hall. Nothing much to tell actually. Our show is alright and the other bands rock. Kurt revises Danny’s Music Man bass guitar and the food is great like it is every day.
Munich, off
It turns out you can’t get out of Stuttgart. At least it takes us about an hour to leave this city where it should have taken us ten minutes. We finally escape from the claws of Stuttgart and drive to Munich. On our way we see woods flooded because of the millions of litres of rain from the last couple of days. In Munich we find the hotel pretty easily. It turns out the best hotel of the tour. Great rooms, a gym downstairs and a swimming pool on walking distance. The first thing Bertus and I do is go for a swim. Danny and Geert go walking around. We have a day off and the Dwarves are playing the Backstage in Munich. Guess where we’re going? The show is absolutely great! The band took former Queens Of The Stone Age bass player Nick Oliveri on board as second vocalist next to Blag Dahlia. It’s an hour of punk rock mayhem and we’re all gob smacked. Bertus and I both buy shirts. It’s a skull with two huge cocks. Half of Backyard Babies band and crew are there as well. Great night.
Munich, Georg Elser Halle
After breakfast we go swimming again and this time Geert and Danny join us.
The people from Munich seem to have a big problem with my newly bought Dwarves shirt (you know, the one with the skull and dicks), they don’t seem to have any problem with a fifty year old guy in a thong, though. Weird people, these people from Munich. The city itself is beautiful as we discover.
We keep hearing that Bern is flooded and we know that the venue in Bern is next to the river. The promoter in Switzerland doesn’t even mention the water. Weird.
The Georg Elser Halle is a nice club named after the man who tried to kill Hitler. We’re going to play here twice. It’s also the first night without the P.A. company that traveled with us for all the German dates. Those people have been great the whole tour. After two shows they already knew exactly what we want to hear on stage. We miss them. Tonight turns out to be Social D very best show. Everything falls into place. The band is steaming, the sound great and the audience fantastic. It’s extremely hot, but that just adds to the atmosphere of a perfect punk rock show.
Later that night we discuss punk bands with Johnny. He loses some punk points by not knowing The Ruts. I lose all my punk point as soon as Mike joins in....
And so another great day ends. I love Munich.
Switzerland, off
We’ve got two days off before our show in Bern, because Social D is doing a festival and has one day off. Bertus’ sister, Hynke, lives in Enetschwil, Switzerland, so we stay there. We can take it easy today, so we do. First a swim, then the drive to Switzerland. That drive takes us through Austria. Austrians can’t drive. They scare the shit out of me. We arrive in Switzerland in one piece and now have to find the place where Hynke and her family lives. This takes a while, because first Bertus thinks they live in a place called Lachen, which they left five years ago and second, according to Bertus, everything looks totally different without snow. Anyway, we end up in a meadow, but eventually we find the beautiful ancient house where Hynke lives with her husband René and their two kids Tjerk and Marije. This is 100% Sound Of Music land, as Mike calls Switzerland. It is absolutely beautiful out here in the middle of nowhere and as far away as possible from the hectic of touring. Here we are sitting in a backyard surrounded by meadows and mountains with a convent in the distance and wine in our hands. We’re treated as kings and I’m happy.
Ernetschwil, off
Very early in the morning I hear a church bell ring and dream of a ship in a storm.
What does a punk rock band do on a day off? Exactly, they go mountain biking in Switzerland. Hynke takes us up the mountains, through the woods and over the hills. The scenery is absolutely stunning and when we’re back we’re knackered, but we feel great. I asked for cheese fondue as diner, so cheese fondue we get (I told you we’re being treated as kings) and it’s delicious. When after diner René asks if anyone cares for a joint, Geert speaks the historical words: ‘I didn’t see that one coming.’ Time for bed.
Bern, Reitschule
Last night we decided to take Tjerk with us to the show. He’s twelve and is a Rammstein fan, so we figured he could use some upbringing in musical respect. We make a little bed in the back of the Espace and off we go to Bern.
By the time we get there Social D has barely set up. I meet Roger, S.D’s production manager and sound engineer. I ask him how he’s doing. ‘Extremely annoyed’, he answers. Ah, alright, get it .No rush, that’s for sure. We also meet Martin the local promotor and one of the people from Leech*Redda who set up our shows in september, right after this tour. Turns out the P.A. company was hours late. We share our dressing room with the BB’s and it’s an old movie theatre.
Lenneke of Kung Fu Records arrives today to join Social D and us to arrange all the publicity like interviews and photo shoots. It’s good to see someone who hasn’t been less then a meter away from you al the time for the last couple of weeks.
Roger decides to open the doors half an hour later, but we still just get a five minute line check. Roger helps us on stage making sure we get a good stage sound. We do, but during the show I can hear that Geert is not having fun at the front of house. We play alright, though. This was Bertus’ last show of the tour, by the way. The last show will be with Geert on drums and backing vocals. When Danny tells this to Roger he asks who’s going to do the FOH sound. Danny says something like: ‘Dunno...’ and Roger offers to do it straight away! How cool is that? It doesn’t make me any less nervous for that particular show, but it does make me more confident about the way we will sound.
Tjerk, in the meantime, is having a great time at the Backyard Babies show, banging his way through all the anthems. They gained a fan.
Mike already spotted Tjerk during the day and he always asks for the youngest kid at the show to come on stage, so he tells Bertus to keep him near the stage during the show. And so Tjerk ends up on stage next to Mike Ness to the crowds delight. They lose the plot when they find out Tjerk is from Switzerland. The roar is deafening.
Because it’s Bertus’ last show he has his picture taken with everyone. It was a warm goodbye.
When we leave we put Tjerk in the improvised bed in the back it takes him about one minute to fall asleep.
When we get back at Hynkes place we’re stunned by the many stars you can see, because it’s so dark. We try to show Lenneke the waterfall at the back of the house. But she could only hear it. She has no idea where she is.
Munich, Off
Today we put Bertus on the plane back to the Netherlands and from then on Cooper is Danny, Geert and myself. This is really weird. Within the course of a tour I’m the only original member left, let alone the fact that all of a sudden I’m the oldest in the band.
We’re staying in the same hotel in Munich, so as soon as we’re there we go for a swim.
We’re invited by the Backyard Babies to come to this pub in Munich called The Kings and Queens. Before that we have diner in a nice Italian restaurant with the four of us (Geert, Danny, Lenneke and I). The pub is great. All the Babies and their crew are there as well as Danny, Donny, John and Graig from the S.D. posse. It takes some effort to finally get Geert and Danny in the cab I called at the end of the night. I’m not that drunk, cause we have a job to do tomorrow.
Munich, Georg Elser Halle
I wake up feeling really nervous. But Lenneke takes me shopping in Munich and I buy some bright orange Vans slip-ons. When we’re walking around in Munich Lenneke gets a call that Mike is not feeling well. There’s a chance the gig is going to be canceled tonight. Now THAT would be the day. Geert will be not amused. He practised his arse off to get everything right and I’ll tell ya, that’s not easy with Cooper.
I call their room as soon as I’m back in mine. Indeed, their not amused. But not long after Lenneke get’s another call and the show is on.
When we arrive at the venue the monitor guy from the German P.A. company who travelled with us up till Stuttgart is there all of a sudden and asks: ‘Monitors or FOH?’. I know we told him about this last show, but I never expected him to be there. This is fantastic! Because now we have our own monitor engineer and FOH engineer.
We get a long sound check tonight, because Roger hasn’t done FOH for a while and he’s having a field day. He tries some different mic’s and is playing around with the mixing desk. Meanwhile we have more then enough time to rehearse a bit. I don’t want to play everything. It’s my superstition. Brent hangs around in the venue during the sound check for mental support. I love that guy, he’s one of the nicest people I ever met. I still can’t believe how nice everyone has been for us on this tour, for that matter.
And then it’s time. It’s time to do a Cooper show with two other guys. Good thing is that Danny has been playing with us for half the tour already, so if I just don’t look over my shoulder it’s just like always. This doesn’t work, but the show is fabulous! Our adrenaline is boiling so we play everything at double speed. Brent, Johnny and Charlie are all at the side of the stage watching. We even have a pit. Geert is so fucking great, he takes over a backing vocal from Danny, because he sees that Danny will never be at his mic in time. Danny and Geert rule. It’s the last show of the tour, so during S.D’s show BB’s Dregen and Nicke come on stage with fake moustaches and Mike’s fez hats on.<
After the show we all hang out taking pictures and drink to end up at the bar of Social D’s hotel for a last one. We toast on the tour and then we say goodbye.
Journey home
We drive from Munich to The Hague in one day. Geert and Danny don’t have a driver’s license, so they can sleep. Lucky for me Lenneke drives home with us, so she can take over for a while. It’s a long drive, but I like driving. We drop off Lenneke at Utrecht to take the train to Amsterdam and I drive Geert and Danny to Dordrecht, where they live.
Then I drop off the trailer at Eddy’s place, because he has a garage. I’m so knackered that I barely talk to Eddy. Then, finally, I’m home.